Your fair-weather friend returns to blog another day.
My life's been all topsy-turvy lately. Busy working and making poor decisions in my personal life as always (some things will never change).
Been getting the bug to start trying my hand at music again. Seeking out guitar lessons and trying to start writing again are my first steps. I really miss being creative - it feels like ages have gone by. I don't want to lose it. It's kind of everything, isn't it?
Anyhow, today I started flipping through old sketchbooks and notebooks and finding bits and pieces of songs and poems and lines written over the last 7 years or so, just trying to find some inspiration. Found some interesting stuff, some bad stuff, some good... thought I'd share some with you here. Why not?
There you are, the star
Consumed by my guitar
But I don't mind, not this time
'cause it makes me feel you're mine
We're inspired, we are
You and my guitar
My pen and I
We are art.
We are beautiful, right now
Circled by smoke, and hope
That one was written when I was 18 or 19. I was dating a guy in a band and I was over the moon for him. He used to pick up my guitar and play it all the time - sometimes it would annoy me because he was in his own little world - but apparently not this time.
Still questioning every step I take towards you
But I can't stop my feet from moving forward
You're everything I need from 3000 miles
And I'm missing you for 3000 miles
And 3000 things I dare not say
because my heart's locked up in iron gates
So I'll put pen to page and hide it away.
*sigh* LA boy... that was written after a boy I fell for whisked me to Los Angeles to be with him. I wrote this when I got back and was missing him so. I think this was around the point where I started to get foreboding thoughts that things were about to sour. And they did. It's funny how I always know things will turn out, and yet still forge on despite it all. I was right to have my heart locked away in this instance. Didn't change the outcome though.
Hey lady put those sad eyes away
Don't let him see the salt streaks running down your pretty face
We've been through this before now don't you cry
It's always hard the second time you say your last goodbye.
Hmmm apparently I only write about boys and unrequited love. What a theme. That one I wrote in New York City where I traveled to visit a boy in the band that I had met and fallen for here in Canada while they were touring through. It was the morning I had to catch my train back to Toronto after a whirlwind of NYC fun. I was lying there beside him while he slept, tears falling down my face. I didn't want to go home. I got up and sat by the window, lit a cigarette and wrote those lines.
If I ever turn these into songs I will have a mean episode of VH1 Storytellers ready to go.
x and o - Miss A
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